No intentes controlar a tu pareja

Suscribo totalmente este artículo que salió el día de hoy en Perú 21 en la sección VIDA Y ESTILO:

Las relaciones basadas en la manipulación sentimental causan daño y entran en una vorágine de dependencia emocional.

Amar puede ser una experiencia hermosa, de enriquecimiento personal, pero también puede llegar a ser un riesgo. Porque si no es un trance de armonía, entonces se torna en una espiral descendente de dolor y sufrimiento.

Uno de los problemas más recurrentes en el terreno de Cupido es el de la manipulación sentimental. “Es una forma de limitar a tu pareja en lo que piensa, en lo que siente, en lo que viste; así disminuyes su autoestima para conseguir que sea como tú quieres”, explica la psicóloga Rebeca Podestá, directora del Centro Incorpore. O sea, el poder que ejerces sobre tu media naranja.

¿TIENES QUE CAMBIAR? El problema surge, en opinión de la especialista, cuando no hay una aceptación completa del otro, rechazo que nace de la nula correspondencia que existe entre lo que la pareja es en realidad –con sus defectos– y el concepto que se tuvo de ella en el plano de la idealización.

Entonces, viene el error: se busca cambiar al otro en todo, en su forma de pensar, en sus gustos personales, etc. El manipulado, destruido en su ego, ve en su pareja una necesidad y entra en la dependencia afectiva.

El manipulador –lo que dice es ley– sacará provecho de la situación y empezará con las infidelidades, o los maltratos físicos y psicológicos. A veces, la persona dependiente es la que manipula con el chantaje emocional, llegando incluso a hacerse daño a sí misma –a través de las drogas, o intentando el suicidio– para impedir el alejamiento de la novia o el novio.

La alternativa es prevenir. Abrir canales de diálogo y dar a conocer al otro, en los comienzos de la relación, que hay límites, que no puede intervenir en aspectos de tu vida porque son parte de la esencia de tu ser, enfatiza Podestá.

Es complicado que una relación basada en la manipulación sentimental se rompa –por la dependencia emocional en la que cae él o ella–, sin embargo, recuerda que, por amor, uno no debe aguantar todo.

Saludos, Renzo

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