(Perdidos) Por las calles de Lima

Hace poco una amiga me invitó a una fiesta sorpresa para su pareja que dicho sea de paso también es mi amigo y viejo conocido desde el colegio. En un correo claramente escrito me indicaba la dirección y la ruta a seguir para llegar a su casa. Recuerdo perfectamente las indicaciones: “Si vienes desde Miraflores bajas por Universitaria hasta la Av. Morales Duarez y de ahí doblas a la izquierda 8 cuadras y entras una cuadra más a la izquierda a la Av. Lopez Pasos ###, cualquier cosa me llamas”. Imposible perderse. Quede con otro amigo para encontrarnos y tomar un taxi a la bendita reunión. No se como hizo mi amigo para encontrar un peregrino que nos jale por 20 soles desde Miraflores hasta quién sabe dónde en plena hora punta del tráfico metropolitano. El taxista nos llevó ágilmente desde la Av. Arequipa hasta Morales Duarez y dobló a la izquierda siempre de acuerdo a las indicaciones.

Renzo: “Loco, esta es la cuadra 29”
Álvaro: “Si, si, esta bien, la numeración va bajando”
Taxista: “Amigo la cuadra 13 esta un poco lejos”
Álvaro: “Bueno si, pero yo le dije que hasta la cuadra 13”
Taxista: “Esta bien pero ¿en qué cuadra vamos? “
Renzo: “Alvarito, estas calles van subiendo, ya estamos en la 32”
Álvaro: “Señor mejor de la vuelta en U que nos estamos alejando”
Taxista (refunfuñando): “Pucha mejor hubiera cortado por otro lado, hemos subido bastante”
Álvaro: “Si bueno, yo le dije la cuadra 13”

15 minutos y 19 cuadras más allá el taxista encuentra finalmente un descampado.

Taxista: “Aquí es la cuadra 13”
Álvaro: “Ok, ok, pero llévenos por favor una cuadra más alla a la Av. Lopez Pasos”
Taxista: “No, amigo por alla no paso” (mirando hacia un camino de trocha que se perdía en la oscuridad)
Álvaro: “Pero es solo una cuadra”
Taxista: “Amigo, me dijiste la cuadra 13 y estamos en la cuadra 13”
Renzo: “Alvaro, hay que pagar y llamamos a Vilma, yo tengo su fono”
Álvaro: “Ok, vamos”

Nos bajamos. Ni que decir que la zona era tierra de nadie. Nos apresuramos a entrar en un bodeja para llamar con más calma.

Renzo: “Alo Vilma, ya llegamos pero no vemos nada”
Vilma: “¿Pero por donde están?”
Renzo: “Cerca a una canchita de futbol, en una tienda”
Vilma: “¿Están cerca a una veterinaria que esta en un esquina?”
Renzo: “No, desde aquí no se ve ninguna veterinaria”
Vilma: “Pero que raro, yo estoy aqui cerca de la canchita pero no los veo”
Alvaro: “Vilma dime en que número estas para buscarte”
Vilma: “Dejame ver, pero que raro que no los encuentre”
Alvaro (muy impaciente): “Vilma solo dime un número, tan fácil como eso”
Vilma: “Es que no es posible que no los encuentre, las calles no son escondidas”

Alvaro continuo refunfuñando un rato más. Yo me acerque a una señora que vendía salchipapas y le pregunté si conocía Lopez Pasos. Me dijo que si, pero que Lopez Pasos estaba un poco lejos de ahí. Alvaro le paso el cell con la esperanza de que entre chicas se puedan entender mejor. Luego de unos minutos de tensión nos devuelve el móvil.

Vilma: “Chicos, no se muevan de ahí, llego en 5 min”
Alvaro: “Ok, pero apúrate, te esperamos en la tienda”

Pasaron los benditos 5 minutos y nada. Aún tuvieron que pasar otros 5 largos minutos más hasta que al fin para nuestro alivio vimos un rostro conocido. Eran Vilma y su papá que nos recogieron y de ahí en adelante todo siguió sin contratiempos. Pero ¿qué había pasado?, ¿habíamos seguido mal las indicaciones? Revise el mapa que había impreso. Todo esta bien, la calle, la dirección, el número. Alto, aquí hay algo raro, Morales Duarez se salta de la cuadra 33 a la 15 ¿cómo era posible esto?

Vilma: “Chicos, ustedes se pasan, cómo se van a ir hasta Cárcamo, si que son valientes”
Alvaro: “¿Valientes? Estaba que me orinaba de miedo”
Vilma: “Yo nunca vengo por aquí, sobre todo por el tráfico pero también porque es movido”
Alvaro “Pero tu nos dijiste la cuadra 13 de Morales Duarez”
Vilma: “Lo que pasa es que Morales Duarez tiene doble numeración, una que va desde Cercado hasta Carmen de la Legua y otra que va en sentido contrario”
Renzo: “Pero a quién se le ocurre, esto no es más que falso orgullo y como cada alcalde quiere tener su propia numeración hacen fachotadas como esta, increíble”

Y así sucedió. Para los que aún están incrédulos le dejo el mapa que nos guío (o extravió) aunque inclusive en el mapa todo esta muy claro, los que no estabamos claros eramos nosotros que veíamos algo en el mapa pero nuestra mente imaginaba otra cosa.

33

Cuídense, Renzo

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